Luke and Rekhna: An Indian Wedding in Central Oregon

In the picturesque landscape east of the Cascades, amidst the breathtaking beauty of towering mountains and high desert greenery, a vibrant tapestry of colors and traditions unfolds as an enchanting Indian wedding in Central Oregon took place last fall. The air is filled with anticipation and joy, as family and friends gather from far and wide to celebrate the union of Luke and Rekhna.

Elaborate floral decorations adorn the venue, while the aromatic scent of Indian delicacies mingles with the crisp mountain air. Against the backdrop of nature’s splendor, the bride and groom, draped in resplendent attire, embark on a lifelong journey together, surrounded by the warmth and love of their loved ones.

We look forward to another Indian wedding in Central Oregon.

Who gets tipped at a wedding and why?

man pouring champagne on glasses for a wedding toast. this type of worker is one who gets tipped at a wedding
Photo by Rene Asmussen on Pexels.com

Who gets tipped at a wedding is a common question in wedding planning. It used to be you could just say, “Tip anyone you would tip normally,” and everyone knew what to do. However, this gets complicated when you factor in vendors such as DJs, photographers, and florists that not all of us use in our everyday lives. (Well, maybe if you are a celebrity…) Using a little knowledge of history, common sense, and principles of fairness and equity, we’ll try to tackle this question.

A little tipping history

While tipping predates the Civil War in the U.S., it became more prevalent in post-Reconstruction America. When it became no longer legal to enslave humans and pay them nothing to work, companies such as Pullman hired Black workers and paid them low wages, expecting them to work for tips to make up the bulk of their income (via USA Today).

As Rakeen Mabud mentions in an article on the Forbes website, “Former slaves…were exploited by employers who offered them no-wage jobs with the promise of tips. Tipping, therefore, was explicitly used to avoid paying black Americans for their labor in this period.”

CBS News continues, “Surprisingly, in those early years, many considered tipping undemocratic and therefore un-American because of its roots in the aristocracy. ‘Tipping, and the aristocratic idea it exemplifies, is what we left Europe to escape. It is a cancer in the breast of democracy,’ wrote William Scott in 1916. But the railway and restaurant industries fought for using tipping as their employees’ full wages, to exploit their African American labor force, and they won.”

Today, we have what are called “Tip Credit” exemptions in US laws such as the FLSA, that allow certain classes of workers to be paid a minimum wage as low as $2.13 (!!!), and to earn the rest of their wage through tips. Thankfully, some areas have adopted minimum wage laws that start minimum wage at $14.75 or better (hi, Portland). However, even a higher minimum wage doesn’t quite cut it when you look at this table from MIT showing what a living wage should be for a household with 2 children — for example, that’s between $27 and $48 in Multnomah County, depending on how many adults are working in the household. Simply put, tips really help if your hourly wage doesn’t cut it.

OK, so knowing the above, we’ve accepted that the history of tipping is pretty awful. Also knowing that while we continue to live in and agitate against this inequitable system, it’s up to us to take direct action and figure out who gets tipped at a wedding, to make it a better situation. So we should absolutely tip folks who work at a wedding, because not only are they working hard, they’re under so much more pressure since they are not just making dinner or creating space, they are doing so for such a timeless and special occasion. By tipping, we’re also directly helping people, and making up for some of the inequities in a system that we have the privilege to affect. That being said, if you absolutely do not have the ability to tip*, you shouldn’t feel bad, and nothing bad is going to happen to you. There are alternatives to cash tips that we’ll go over later in this article.

Yes, you should still tip anyone you would tip in your daily non-wedding life

So who gets tipped at a wedding? Let’s start with the easy answers: Anyone who you would tip in normal, non-wedding life. Do you go out to eat? You tip the waiter, and maybe even in your food delivery app, leave something for the kitchen staff. Do you drink in bars? You tip the bartender. Do you stay in hotels? You tip the people who carry your stuff or bring things to your room, and those who clean up after you. None of this changes just because you’re having a wedding. Do you tip your hairstylist? Of course you do. Do you tip when you go to the department store, and a makeup artist helps you choose makeup and sometimes, even applies it on your face? Yes, all of these tips that happen in normal life, should also happen at your wedding.

And anyone who offers an above-and-beyond customized service

In addition, let’s think about people who offer specialized labor or a customized service. When you go to a karaoke bar, you might tip the KJ for finding you that special song you wanted to sing, and moving you up in the queue because she knows it’s your birthday. Similarly, a wedding DJ who goes out of their way to customize your wedding playlist, gets to know your likes and dislikes, and watches the crowd to tailor the music in order to get the most people dancing — this person is deserving of a gratuity. The words gratuity and gratitude are related – use tips to show how grateful you are.

Exceptions to who gets tipped at a wedding: Bad service, business owners, and when it’s already in the contract

Let’s be real, tips add up. When you are already spending so much money on the wedding, it’s always good to look for safe places where you can skip the tip. One is if the vendor provider is a business owner. Although they will definitely appreciate, and certainly not turn away, a tip if you give them one, they normally are not thinking of themselves as who gets tipped at a wedding. This is because, as an owner-worker they are presumably (hopefully) paying themselves a living wage or better. (If you are a business owner and you are NOT paying yourself a living wage, there’s a book for you!)

The other situation is where gratuity is already included in the contract. But be careful! “Service charge” and “Gratuity” are not always interchangeable. It’s up to you (or your wedding planner) to ask vendors who add service charge (most likely a caterer or a hotel), whether or not that service charge goes to the staff. If it doesn’t, then it would be customary to give tips to hotel or catering staff at the end of the night.

One last situation is if you’ve received overall bad service. I’m not talking about if one guest’s impossible request wasn’t met (I’m thinking of that one wedding guest who asked me to chill and serve her own wine that she brought from outside the venue. Uh, no.), but overall bad service where it seems like everything went wrong — late or missing staff, important instructions such as dietary needs not followed, diagrams or timelines given well in advance not followed, etc. In this case you should feel fine about reducing or eliminating gratuity for the affected services. But please do give tips for those who did show up and give their all.

Ways to show appreciation without tipping

For those vendors who aren’t being tipped, there are still lots of ways to show appreciation. Offer a sandwich tray with ice-cold sodas during setup, for the floral and rental setup crew. In my experience, those folks do a lot, but rarely get tipped. After the wedding, you can write your vendor a thank-you note and include a coffee gift card, or send a bottle of wine (unopened, please) that is left over from your reception.

And if they did a good job, you should write that vendor a nice review on a site like Yelp, Google Maps, or TheKnot. (Pro tip: Copy and paste your review on as many sites as you can. More ideas include WeddingWire, LinkedIn, and Facebook.) Your vendor will love you forever, and a good review that could lead to future business is worth far more than a $50 handshake.

Finally, don’t forget to write your vendors a thank-you note if they did a good job. It’s a little thing that does mean something, especially if you cannot tip someone.

Your wedding planner is your intermediary

This seems like a lot of work, doesn’t it? But this is a perfect example of a service a wedding planner provides for you, in order to remove stress and fuss from the events leading up to the wedding. Your planner can look at your vendor list and help you figure out who gets tipped at the wedding and exactly how much. Once you and your planner determine what tips will be arranged, you can place these amounts (usually cash) in sealed envelopes with the name of the vendor for your planner to hand out (or not hand out, based on service) at the end of the night. You and your sweetie and all your friends and family won’t have to deal with all of that.

Need a cheat sheet? Here you are!

Feel free to download this PDF with a quick checklist of common vendors that one would tip at a wedding. Who Gets Tipped at a Wedding Checklist

*As most wedding expenses are non-mandatory, my stance is that few people planning weddings fall into this category. Just as if you can afford to go out for dinner, you can afford to tip; so if you can afford to host, for example, a wedding with a budget of $30,000 or more, you can afford to tip your wedding vendors. To host a wedding at this budget level or higher in the US and think you can’t afford to tip, in my opinion, means you didn’t plan correctly. Smaller weddings on shoestring budgets are exempt from my blanket judgement.

An Unforgettable Thunder Island Wedding: Shannon & Ryan

It’s no secret that one of our favorite wedding locations is the Columbia Gorge just east of Portland. Here is where the Columbia, the mightiest river in the west, literally cut through a mountain range on its way to the Pacific. The steep mountains that form the “walls” of the Gorge are supremely photogenic. And the staggering number of waterfalls add to the natural beauty. We were so excited that Shannon and Ryan asked us to assist with their Thunder Island wedding planning.

Last fall we had the opportunity to help out Shannon and Ryan with their ideal Columbia Gorge wedding. Held on Thunder Island, once the site of the “locks” that gave Cascade Locks its name. The locks here are no more, as the construction of the Bonneville Dam moved the locks downriver. Now what is here is a peaceful island with a spectacular backdrop of water, mountains, and the Bridge of the Gods.

Shannon and Ryan met during a camping trip in college. They love the outdoors, so much that their engagement session involved rock climbing at Smith Rock in Central Oregon. So an outdoor wedding was definitely in the picture for them. The weather on their wedding day was almost perfect: ample amounts of sun and warmth, though a wee bit breezy. But it’s the Gorge, wind is to be expected!

The reception was held indoors at the Pavilion at Thunder Island. An example of the couple’s unique touch was an audio guest book that guests would record their greeting via a vintage rotary phone.

It was a lovely wedding and we were happy to help.

For more about Shannon and Ryan’s Thunder Island wedding, check out this post on Taylor Denton Photography, and this post at Brides and Weddings.

Photos

A wedding couple says their vows under a wooden arbor at Thunder Island, Cascade Locks, Oregon.

Vendors

More Columbia River Gorge Weddings!

For more reports from our Columbia Gorge Weddings:

And if you need ideas for venues in the Gorge, whether it be for your Columbia River Gorge wedding, a family gathering, or intimate meeting or retreat, check out our venue guides:

Revving Up the Fun Factor: Strategizing a Corporate Retreat in Park City

The Park City Free Trolley is a great way for guests to get around the city.

Planning an event in Park City? Last time we talked about event planning in Salt Lake City and mentioned one did not need to go to the mountains to have a good time. But what if you do want to go to “the mountains”?

Nestled in the Wasatch Range, the westernmost reach of the Rocky Mountains, Park City is the high-elevation playground of Utah and much of the West. The former mining town was “discovered” in the 1980’s by people attracted to its natural beauty and opportunities for outdoor recreation. Park City became world-famous with the Sundance Film Festival, a yearly event that attracts the rich and famous. And the area’s famous and abundant snow entice skiers and snowboarders from all over–in fact, the US Ski Team is based here!

We lead retreats

We just facilitated a corporate retreat in Park City, a gathering for chief technology officers who wanted to get together to not only learn from each other, but also enjoy the fine powdery snow the city is renowned for. This event was a success! And Park City was chosen as a destination due to its proximity to Salt Lake City. Utah’s capital and largest city’s international airport makes getting to Park City via air much easier (and cheaper!) than other mountain town destinations like Sun Valley, Jackson Hole, or Aspen.

Park City Event Venues

A theater/ballroom at Deer Valley that can accommodate a couple hundred people.
Photo from their website

Deer Valley Resort. Rising on the mountains above Park City, this resort consists of two lodges with sleeping rooms that total 425 (The Lodges at Deer Valley and Silver Baron), plus three day lodges (Snow Park, Silver Lake, Empire Canyon). With many different rooms and restaurants available across the properties, we see Deer Valley as a great spot for either an intimate retreat or for a conference of several hundred people. Do note that the Deer Valley ski areas do not allow snowboarding, so if you have a lot of boarders in your group, plan accordingly and possibly use the free trolley or lodge shuttles to get folks into town to the Town Lift.

Wasatch Brewing in Park City. We mentioned Wasatch in our Salt Lake City roundup, but Park City has its own location as well, located right in the heart of the city on Main St. There are two different private venues, The Loft Bar (capacity 60/125 depending on sit-down or cocktail style) and The Tap Room (capacity 30/40), located on the pub’s second floor.

These glass “pods” at Montage Deer Valley make a romantic place for a engagement proposal!

Montage Deer Valley. High above Park City, Montage offers rooms from a couple hundred to several thousand square feet, great for meetings, special events, and weddings. One room even has a bowling alley!

The Church of Dirt. We hate using the overused descriptor “unique” when describing a location, but we feel it deserves it in this instance. Located near the top of Empire Pass, this is a simple outdoor space with a few rows of wooden benches and an altar created by lashing branches together. There are no other amenities. To reserve a date, write your name and wedding date on a rock or piece of wood and stick it in the pile of other “reservations”. That’s it. What you get is an epic backdrop for your wedding! This video gives a good overview of the “church”.

A word about elevation

We mentioned Utah’s byzantine liquor laws in our Salt Lake City write-up. What’s worth mentioning about Park City is how high up it is. The base elevation in town is around 7,000 feet (2,130 metres). That’s a couple thousand feet higher than Salt Lake, and probably several thousand feet higher than what you are used to. The ski resorts are even a thousand or more feet higher than that 7,000 feet. Acclimating to this high elevation can take time. The lower oxygen levels may make the simple feat of walking up a hill seem Herculean. Make sure you stay hydrated, especially if you are there in summer. And don’t overdo your drinking!

We hope that you found this post to be informative. And we hope it helps you find the right venue for planning an event in Park City!

Planning an event in Salt Lake City

Red Butte Garden’s Orangerie, photo from Visit Salt Lake.

Planning an event in Salt Lake City? We recently had the opportunity to visit Utah’s capital and largest city, which is also the largest urban area in America’s vast Great Basin, where no water flows to the ocean. (It’s the reason why the Great Salt Lake is so saline!) Salt Lake City lies on the edge of the lake and at the foot of the Wasatch Range, the westernmost reach of the Rocky Mountains. The mountains rise sharply from the relatively flat valley floor, making for a spectacular backdrop. For many visitors, the mountains and the recreation they provide are the reason for coming here. But Salt Lake City has plenty of urban amenities, so one does not need to “go to the mountains” to enjoy being here. Here is a selection of Salt Lake City event venues for you to peruse.

McCune Mansion, from flickr user Emily Allen
Gilded Ballroom at McCune Mansion, from their website
Executive Boardroom at McCune Mansion, from their website

Venue 6SIX9. Located downtown, the interestingly spelled 6SIX9 offers the ability to host events “from corporate parties, seminars, church gatherings to weddings and more!” The venue includes an 8,400 square foot ballroom plus breakout rooms, totaling  20,000 square feet in total available space. Tables, chairs, linens, and centerpieces are also available from the venue.

McCune Mansion. One type of venue we’re always on the lookout for is a historic property. The McCune Mansion is a Shingle-Style estate built in 1901 and in between Temple Square and the Utah State Capitol. The mansion promotes itself as a good venue for business meetings or retreats, weddings and receptions, and for photography shoots as well. The mansion can accommodate up to 300 people in winter and 500 in summer.

Wasatch Brewing. We love event venues in breweries, because the availability of tasty beer is guaranteed! Wasatch’s Salt Lake City location is located in the hip ‘n’ happening Sugar House neighborhood. The brewery offers two event spaces, The Landing Room which can hold 40 and The Tasting Room which can hold 30. Both rooms can be rented together, too! Wasatch has a full kitchen, and meals can be done buffet style.

Beehive Distilling
The event space at Beehive Distilling, Salt Lake City, Utah. From their Instagram.

Beehive Distilling. Located a couple miles south of downtown in South Salt Lake, this bar can host up to 180 in its 4,000 square foot space. Beehive’s event focus is on “corporate meetings, non-profit organizations, weddings and parties”, with an active distillery as your backdrop. Because of the nature of the business, all guests must be 21 and over.

Getting around: Salt Lake City’s light rail system, TRAX, has expanded greatly over the past twenty years, extending from downtown to the Airport, the University of Utah, and southern suburbs. All of the event venues above are within a ten minute walk to a light rail station or S-Streetcar, which connects to TRAX. If you want to get around by bicycle, you’ll see several GREENbike bikeshare stations around town. Amtrak’s California Zephyr stops once a day at Salt Lake’s Intermodal Terminal west of downtown–someday we hope direct service to Portland via Boise resumes.

A word about liquor laws: Utah’s liquor laws are infamous across the United States. Thankfully the stricter regulations have loosened in the past twenty years: You are no longer required to become a member of a “private club” to enjoy adult beverages in a bar, thank the 2002 Winter Olympics for that. And the notorious “three point two” alcohol by volume limit on beers was raised to five percent in 2019–you can get stronger beer, too, but it’s not as easy. You still can’t get more than one shot (1.5 fluid ounces, or about 45 ml) in a mixed drink, something Emee learned the hard way during a recent visit. But you can buy spirits directly from a distiller like Beehive, even on Sunday when state-run liquor stores are shuttered. For more info, check out these two articles.

We hope that you found this post to be informative and hope it helps you find the right Salt Lake City event venue for you!