In the picturesque landscape east of the Cascades, amidst the breathtaking beauty of towering mountains and high desert greenery, a vibrant tapestry of colors and traditions unfolds as an enchanting Indian wedding in Central Oregon took place last fall. The air is filled with anticipation and joy, as family and friends gather from far and wide to celebrate the union of Luke and Rekhna.
Elaborate floral decorations adorn the venue, while the aromatic scent of Indian delicacies mingles with the crisp mountain air. Against the backdrop of nature’s splendor, the bride and groom, draped in resplendent attire, embark on a lifelong journey together, surrounded by the warmth and love of their loved ones.
We look forward to another Indian wedding in Central Oregon.
Who gets tipped at a wedding is a common question in wedding planning. It used to be you could just say, “Tip anyone you would tip normally,” and everyone knew what to do. However, this gets complicated when you factor in vendors such as DJs, photographers, and florists that not all of us use in our everyday lives. (Well, maybe if you are a celebrity…) Using a little knowledge of history, common sense, and principles of fairness and equity, we’ll try to tackle this question.
A little tipping history
While tipping predates the Civil War in the U.S., it became more prevalent in post-Reconstruction America. When it became no longer legal to enslave humans and pay them nothing to work, companies such as Pullman hired Black workers and paid them low wages, expecting them to work for tips to make up the bulk of their income (via USA Today).
As Rakeen Mabud mentions in an article on the Forbes website, “Former slaves…were exploited by employers who offered them no-wage jobs with the promise of tips. Tipping, therefore, was explicitly used to avoid paying black Americans for their labor in this period.”
CBS News continues, “Surprisingly, in those early years, many considered tipping undemocratic and therefore un-American because of its roots in the aristocracy. ‘Tipping, and the aristocratic idea it exemplifies, is what we left Europe to escape. It is a cancer in the breast of democracy,’ wrote William Scott in 1916. But the railway and restaurant industries fought for using tipping as their employees’ full wages, to exploit their African American labor force, and they won.”
Today, we have what are called “Tip Credit” exemptions in US laws such as the FLSA, that allow certain classes of workers to be paid a minimum wage as low as $2.13 (!!!), and to earn the rest of their wage through tips. Thankfully, some areas have adopted minimum wage laws that start minimum wage at $14.75 or better (hi, Portland). However, even a higher minimum wage doesn’t quite cut it when you look at this table from MIT showing what a living wage should be for a household with 2 children — for example, that’s between $27 and $48 in Multnomah County, depending on how many adults are working in the household. Simply put, tips really help if your hourly wage doesn’t cut it.
OK, so knowing the above, we’ve accepted that the history of tipping is pretty awful. Also knowing that while we continue to live in and agitate against this inequitable system, it’s up to us to take direct action and figure out who gets tipped at a wedding, to make it a better situation. So we should absolutely tip folks who work at a wedding, because not only are they working hard, they’re under so much more pressure since they are not just making dinner or creating space, they are doing so for such a timeless and special occasion. By tipping, we’re also directly helping people, and making up for some of the inequities in a system that we have the privilege to affect. That being said, if you absolutely do not have the ability to tip*, you shouldn’t feel bad, and nothing bad is going to happen to you. There are alternatives to cash tips that we’ll go over later in this article.
Yes, you should still tip anyone you would tip in your daily non-wedding life
So who gets tipped at a wedding? Let’s start with the easy answers: Anyone who you would tip in normal, non-wedding life. Do you go out to eat? You tip the waiter, and maybe in your food delivery app, you give a gratuity to the kitchen staff. Do you drink in bars? You tip the bartender. Do you stay in hotels? You tip the people who carry your stuff or bring things to your room, and those who clean up after you. None of this changes just because you’re having a wedding. Do you tip your hairstylist? Of course you do. Do you tip when you go to the department store, and a makeup artist helps you choose makeup and sometimes, even applies it on your face? Yes, all of these tips that happen in normal life, should also happen at your wedding.
And anyone who offers an above-and-beyond customized service
In addition, let’s think about people who offer specialized labor or a customized service. When you go to a karaoke bar, you might tip the KJ for finding you that special song you wanted to sing, and moving you up in the queue because she knows it’s your birthday. Similarly, a wedding DJ who goes out of their way to customize your wedding playlist, gets to know your likes and dislikes, and watches the crowd to tailor the music in order to get the most people dancing — this person is deserving of a gratuity. The words gratuity and gratitude are related – use tips to show how grateful you are.
Exceptions to who gets tipped at a wedding: Bad service, business owners, and when it’s already in the contract
Let’s be real, tips add up. When you are already spending so much money on the wedding, it’s always good to look for safe places where you can skip the tip. One is if the vendor provider is a business owner. Although they will definitely appreciate, and certainly not turn away, a tip if you give them one, they normally are not thinking of themselves as who gets tipped at a wedding. This is because, as an owner-worker they are presumably (hopefully) paying themselves a living wage or better. (If you are a business owner and you are NOT paying yourself a living wage, there’s a book for you!)
The other situation is where gratuity is already included in the contract. But be careful! “Service charge” and “Gratuity” are not always interchangeable. It’s up to you (or your wedding planner) to ask vendors who add service charge (most likely a caterer or a hotel), whether or not that service charge goes to the staff. If it doesn’t, then it would be customary to give tips to hotel or catering staff at the end of the night.
One last situation is if you’ve received overall bad service. I’m not talking about if one guest’s impossible/illegal request wasn’t met (I’m thinking of that one wedding guest who asked me to chill and serve her own wine that she brought from outside the venue. Uh, no.), but overall bad service where it seems like everything went wrong — late or missing staff, important instructions such as dietary needs not followed, diagrams or timelines given well in advance not followed, etc. In this case you should feel fine about reducing or eliminating gratuity for the affected services. But please do give tips for those who did show up and give their all.
Ways to show appreciation without tipping
For those vendors who aren’t being tipped, there are still lots of ways to show appreciation. Offer a sandwich tray with ice-cold sodas during setup, for the floral and rental setup crew. In my experience, those folks do a lot, but rarely get tipped. After the wedding, you can write your vendor a thank-you note and include a coffee gift card, or send a bottle of wine (unopened, please) that is left over from your reception.
And if they did a good job, you should write that vendor a nice review on a site like Yelp, Google Maps, or TheKnot. (Pro tip: Copy and paste your review on as many sites as you can. More ideas include WeddingWire, LinkedIn, and Facebook.) Your vendor will love you forever, and a good review that could lead to future business is worth far more than a $50 handshake.
Finally, don’t forget to write your vendors a thank-you note if they did a good job. It’s a little thing that does mean something, especially if you cannot tip someone.
Your wedding planner is your intermediary
This seems like a lot of work, doesn’t it? But this is a perfect example of a service a wedding planner provides for you, in order to remove stress and fuss from the events leading up to the wedding. Your planner can look at your vendor list and help you figure out who gets tipped at the wedding and exactly how much. Once you and your planner determine what tips will be arranged, you can place these amounts (usually cash) in sealed envelopes with the name of the vendor for your planner to hand out (or not hand out, based on service) at the end of the night. You and your sweetie and all your friends and family won’t have to deal with all of that.
*As most wedding expenses are non-mandatory, my stance is that few people planning weddings fall into this category. Just as if you can afford to go out for dinner, you can afford to tip; so if you can afford to host, for example, a wedding with a budget of $30,000 or more, you can afford to tip your wedding vendors. To host a wedding at this budget level or higher in the US and think you can’t afford to tip, in my opinion, means you didn’t plan correctly. Smaller weddings on shoestring budgets are exempt from my blanket judgement.
It’s no secret that one of our favorite wedding locations is the Columbia Gorge just east of Portland. Here is where the Columbia, the mightiest river in the west, literally cut through a mountain range on its way to the Pacific. The steep mountains that form the “walls” of the Gorge are supremely photogenic. And the staggering number of waterfalls add to the natural beauty. We were so excited that Shannon and Ryan asked us to assist with their Thunder Island wedding planning.
Last fall we had the opportunity to help out Shannon and Ryan with their ideal Columbia Gorge wedding. Held on Thunder Island, once the site of the “locks” that gave Cascade Locks its name. The locks here are no more, as the construction of the Bonneville Dam moved the locks downriver. Now what is here is a peaceful island with a spectacular backdrop of water, mountains, and the Bridge of the Gods.
Shannon and Ryan met during a camping trip in college. They love the outdoors, so much that their engagement session involved rock climbing at Smith Rock in Central Oregon. So an outdoor wedding was definitely in the picture for them. The weather on their wedding day was almost perfect: ample amounts of sun and warmth, though a wee bit breezy. But it’s the Gorge, wind is to be expected!
The reception was held indoors at the Pavilion at Thunder Island. An example of the couple’s unique touch was an audio guest book that guests would record their greeting via a vintage rotary phone.
It was a lovely wedding and we were happy to help.
And if you need ideas for venues in the Gorge, whether it be for your Columbia River Gorge wedding, a family gathering, or intimate meeting or retreat, check out our venue guides:
The Columbia Gorge Hotel’s Benson Ballroom (from their website)
Hello folks! Today we are going to talk about event venues in the Columbia Gorge. The Columbia River Gorge is a canyon in the Cascade Mountains, running nearly eighty miles in length just east of Portland. It’s an area of unparalleled beauty, filled with epic vistas, tantalizing waterfalls, deep forests, vineyards and orchards, and lots of rock. It’s a playground to the Portland metro area and features numerous unique venues for weddings, meetings, family events, and more.
Vista House at Crown Point, as seen from Women’s Forum
The Columbia River Gorge is a big place with lots to do and see, so we’ve divided up our round-up into two parts. This first part covers the western reach, from the end of the Portland metro area (Washougal, WA and Troutdale, OR) in the west to Hood River, OR and Bingen-White Salmon, WA in the east. This part of the Gorge features most of its famous attractions: Vista House/Crown Point, Cape Horn, Beacon Rock, Multnomah Falls. Part Two will feature the eastern reaches of the Gorge, from Hood River/Bingen-White Salmon eastward through The Dalles, OR to Maryhill, WA.
Venue Options
Cape Horn Estate (Main lodge building, or Greenhouse)Getting-Ready SuiteThe Pour House at Cape Horn EstateThe grounds of Cape Horn Estate
Cape Horn EstateRight off WA 14, behind Skamania Store and a couple miles west of Beacon Rock, this venue is located in an old Grange hall. The interior of the hall can accommodate 150, the smaller Pour House can hold 70, and the beautifully groomed grounds can hold 300. And the Getting Ready Suite in the hall is something to behold! The best part? This property is owned and catered by the same people behind Hoda’s Lebanese Restaurant in SE Portland. You can have delicious Mediterranean food at your wedding!
Columbia Gorge Hotel (from their website)
Wah Gwin Gwin Falls
Columbia Gorge HotelUp next on our list of event venues in the Columbia Gorge is this historic Mission style resort. Located just on the west side of Hood River, the hotel was built in 1921 to accommodate travelers on the then new (now Historic) Columbia River Highway. There are three outdoor lawns available for weddings, the largest can accommodate 250. The indoor Benson Ballroom can hold 150. There are 40 guest rooms located at the hotel, and catering, staffing, setup and breakdown that is all handled by their staff. While the building itself is impressive enough, the most impressive feature to me is the waterfall right on the property! Wah Gwin Gwin Falls drops 207 feet (63 m) from the back of the hotel to the Columbia River below. The area is renowned for its waterfalls, but this is the only one I know that’s adjacent to a hotel. If you have a wedding here, you don’t need to travel to another waterfall.
Thunder Island How about a venue where the splendor of the Gorge serves as the backdrop? Just off the shore of Cascade Locks, Oregon, Thunder Island came into being in 1890 with the creation of the Cascade Lock and Canal. This lock/canal combo was built to get around the notorious Cascade Rapids, the last rapids of the Columbia River before the ocean. Bonneville Dam’s pool flooded the rapids, but the island remains. Now the island can be rented out for special events, including weddings. Island rental includes a wedding platform and 200 chairs. And destinations in Cascade Locks, like Thunder Island Brewing, are just a short walk away.
Skamania Lodge Want a spot where you can have a wedding or event and never need to leave the grounds? Across the river from Cascade Locks, this resort located outside of Stevenson, Washington features a hotel (including luxury treehouses), restaurants, a spa, and an adventure park complete with zip-lines. Weddings can be done in their amphitheater, and receptions can be held either in their Ballroom or the outdoor, covered Riverview Pavilion.
Places to Stay
There are many lodging options in the Gorge. We’ve highlighted a few below:
Most people arrive to the Gorge via car. Nevertheless, there are other options:
Train: Amtrak’s Empire Builder stops in Bingen, Washington (across the river from Hood River) twice daily. The eastbound train (from Portland to Spokane, Minneapolis/St. Paul, and Chicago) calls on Bingen around 6:21 PM. The westbound train (from Chicago, Minneapolis/St. Paul, Spokane to Portland) calls on Bingen around 8:04 AM. (Times are subject to change)
Bus: There are multiple options that connect the Portland metro area to the Gorge, all of them have bike racks on the front and/or rear of the bus.
Oregon side: The Columbia Gorge Express travels from Gateway Transit Center in Portland to Hood River several times a day, making stops in Troutdale, Multnomah Falls, and Cascade Locks.
Washington side:Skamania County Transit travels from Fishers Landing Transit Center in Vancouver to Bingen several times a day (weekdays only), making stops in Washougal, Skamania (store), North Bonneville, Stevenson, and Carson.
Bike: Undeniably the Gorge is a great place to ride a bike, at least on the Oregon side. (Washington Route 14 has lots of traffic and often lacks a shoulder.) The Historic Columbia River Highway is the way to go. It’s a scenic route that winds its way from Troutdale, OR to Cascade Locks. You’ll share the western route (Troutdale east to Yeon State Park) with cars, east of there it’s a car-free path! (Note: There is one long staircase you will have to negotiate.) Bike maps for the route can be found here and here. East of Cascade Locks is tough, though, as parts of the old road are gone. Oregon Department of Transportation has been building back much of the disappeared route, including the legendary Mitchell Point Tunnel. However, this will take years to complete. Meanwhile, it is perfectly legal to ride the shoulder of I-84 here, but if you do not want to do this, you can take the Columbia Gorge Express bus (see above) for this segment.
One important note about driving through the Oregon side of the Gorge: Between May 24 and Sept. 5, 2022, a Timed Use Permit will be required for each personal vehicle accessing federal lands adjacent to the Waterfall Corridor between 9 a.m. and 6 p.m. just east of the Bridal Veil off-ramp (Exit 28) to Ainsworth State Park (Exit 35).
Waterfall Corridor permits will be available online for a $2 transaction fee and in person for a limited amount of same-day permits (no fee) at the Gateway to the Gorge Visitor Center in Troutdale and Cascade Locks Historical Museum. If you want to drive, Recreation.gov will release online permits approximately 2 weeks prior to the visit date. For more info, please see the website.
Hope this helps you find event venues in the Columbia Gorge!
A good example of a script font that isn’t the “wedding font”
You’ve seen it by now, the default “wedding” font. It’s usually cursive (or cursive adjacent) and features a “bouncy” baseline–the bottoms of the letters don’t sit on a line, but rather go up or down as if by whim. Head over to a “create your own invitation” service like Zazzle, and you’ll see a bunch of these fonts. It’s very of the moment.
The issue of using anything in the moment is that it may become dated and not age well. And if you are striving to be unique with your wedding, it’s hard to be unique when you’re using the same font that everyone else is using.
We asked designer Meagan Ghorashian, founder of Brolly Design, for ideas for some alternative fonts–fonts that capture the same spirit but are not the same-old, same-old. Here are a few of her picks:
The above fonts do cost a nominal fee to use. Perhaps you are on a tight budget and can’t afford the expense. If so, check out some of these free fonts Meagan found on 1001freefonts.com:
And if you do have the cash, consider getting an artist to hand-letter for you! It will add a very unique touch to your invitations and other decor, a touch that you can’t get from a computer typeface.
The “Lookback” Series of blog posts features weddings that happened more than a year ago. Some are repeats, some totally new to this blog! We hope you enjoy looking back with us on these wonderful weddings.
{ From the archives } This two-day Indian Wedding Weekend kicked off at the World Forestry Center in Portland. This featured a casual, combination-mehndi-and-sangeet party. They invited some of Portland’s favorite food carts, Nong’s Khao Man Gai and Pips Original, to dish out treats to their 200 guests. Also provided was catering by India Connection and Nicholas Restaurant. Ice cream was provided by Scoop! and bartending and service by Vibrant Table. There was plenty to keep guests noshing and sipping! Mehndi was provided by Amrapali Salon, and dance party by DJ Kapil.
On Saturday everything went up a notch in formality as the crowd reconvened for a formal, traditional Hindu ceremony. This was located on the Willamette riverfront at the Roehr Park Amphitheater. The solemnities were supervised by Portland Pandit. Scovare Yachts delivered the wedding party in a spectacular “Boatraat”. Cocktail hour was held on the Foundry at Oswego Pointe‘s promenade. Finally, guests went in to the Foundry’s Great Hall for dinner and dancing.
